Fall is here, and I find myself behaving very autumnal in more ways than one. Like a tall, graceful tree shedding it’s beautifully crafted red-golden leaves, I too am letting go of some things. I find that I am dropping habits I’ve held on to for seasons and a lifetime, and thought patterns that I feel have kept me stagnant in one way or another. I am taking on a form that I can’t call entirely new, because this is who I’ve always been, albeit sometimes not expressed.
In some ways I have been this version of me at one point or another, while in other ways I haven’t fully expressed myself for no other reason than the fact that we seem to have a self-censor button, that intuitively tells us which elements of ourselves to tone down and which to express. And if we are not censoring ourselves, others are doing it for us. “That’s not appropriate,” or “don’t stand out too much,” “won’t everyone else find it strange?” “are you sure you want to do that?” Too many darn opinions that matter little in the grand scheme of things. All this to say, I’m turning down my self-censor button – or turning up the volume on the real me, whatever you will. My gut tells me that this is going to be exciting. It is a new season and it is the same old me, just more me.
Having a career in science and having creativity and fashion for a passion makes me often feel like I am living a false dichotomy. Usually to excel at anything, you need to focus whole heartedly on the task at hand and just give it your whole. Well, I feel that I can’t live without science me and I am lost without creative me. They both require so much time, half-hearted attempts won’t do. I am going to excel at both, and I think I’ve figured out how. So this autumn, I’m shedding my old coat. It is a beautiful coat in breathtaking colours of fall, and has contributed, perhaps, in some way to where I am today but there’s so much more underneath that coat!
Tell me, do you feel nature’s pull to make some changes this fall?