Behind every successful man is a woman

Tønsberg church


So they like to say …

What is she doing there?

How did she get there?

Why is she behind?

Did she choose to be there,

Or is he stealing her light?

Is he stealing her thunder,

Did she volunteer for the back?

Would she rather be kingmaker,

Than bask as king?

Does he share the glory,

Or does he hoard it all?

How long will she be there?

Is she thriving too?

Did she have to bury her dreams

Contend with standing in the shadow?

Is she complete?


On my mind today

Tomorrow is 14th February but unlike most, I have been thinking about Women’s Day, and not Valentine’s. I like celebrating Valentine’s, don’t get me wrong, but the man and I are always celebrating something or other so it feels like the year is full of Valentine’s Days.

This Valentine’s I am thinking about the fulfilment of women. I am thinking about whether all the women seen as the woman behind the successful man are content being that. Granted, there are women who are successful in their own right and have supported the successful men in their lives too. In that sense, it may be okay to be seen as the woman behind the successful man. Not behind in the sense that the man is successful at the woman’s expense, but behind in the same way that we could say a mentor is behind their mentee’s success. As in the force that propelled them forward.

I am not against women being a propelling force to success for the men in their lives; spurring them on, supporting them, advising them, lifting them up. I am against women being behind men in the sense that women sacrifice their potential, opportunities and aspirations in the process of helping others thrive – children, husbands, partners.

All dreams are important to the one that holds them

I do not dispute that dreams are different for every woman. Some dream of being homemakers, some dream of being groundbreakers in fields outside the home, and others dream of both. All dreams are important to the one that holds them. My desire is that women are complete, and that the men in their lives do not thrive at the expense of women’s aspirations and potential being laid aside. Everyone should thrive. Together.

Happy Valentine’s.

What’s your take on the saying, “Behind every successful man is a woman?” Share your thoughts!



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